


How to deal with what happens After

by SummerAngel



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 13:24:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11231907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummerAngel/pseuds/SummerAngel
Summary: After the "End" of the Kingdom Hearts series, Everyone is alive, their own person, with full hearts and full emotional capacity. This is going to be about the psychological aftermath of how they live their lives after everything they've experienced. The main idea being that while nobodies can grow hearts and experience emotions, its only after becoming fully whole that they begin to deal with the true intensity of everything that they felt and remembered. Often they'll remember things from their days as nobodies, and suddenly feel the true intensity of their emotions that they'd had during those situations. It kinda spills out everywhere and all of a sudden, but they deal with it the best that they canI will try to focus on everyone in the main "group" kind of as I get inspired to write something, so Sora, Kairi, Riku, Namine, Roxas, Xion, and Axel (and later Terra, Aqua, Ventus and Vanitas if I get inspired) It's mostly going to be unrelated musings in each chapter for each character rather than a unified whole story with a plot or anything though(relationships are there if you squint, but none favored over others/every is poly/just friends etc)





	How to deal with what happens After

Namine is the one most confused about what to do with her new existence. One that fully belonged to her own self and nobody else. She had never planned for or thought possible any reality that included her just, able to exist for no purpose.

From the moment of her first memory, that feeling of dulled confusion had always prevailed. When she first came into existence, she was nowhere. In a place that never existed, she had been lost. Instead of wandering, she had stayed put, not moving, not speaking, not even really waiting for anything.

There was just nothing, until there was someone.

He had approached her and commented that the Nothing reminded him of the sound of the waves. Endless, cyclical, doomed to repeat itself infinitely without change. Her name, her very existence, was born from this same idea.

She would exist for a single purpose, furthering the goals of the organization. Mindlessly she had followed him, because he was the first thing that wasn’t Nothing. Later, she would realized that it hadn’t mattered that she came willingly at first, only that she had succumbed to his will that she should follow.

She was initially brought to a blank white room, one she would stay in for quite a while. In this place, she was made to understand what the organization wanted of her. She discovered others existed when someone new came to her in her room. Their appearance was striking, the man with with his bright pink hair, and the woman with the electric blonde.

They had initially just confused her, talking about powers and memories and manipulation, things she was apparently able to do. He slid paper and crayons towards her, and instructed her to draw what the sun looked like on a place called Destiny Islands.

When she was unable to fulfill the request, the woman had tried to coax her as well, with words that dripped sweet as honey. The longer this continued, the more frustrated the woman got, the more poisonous her words. Until finally they spoke to each other instead.

“Marluxia this is getting nowhere! The dumb bitch won’t do it and I’m losing my patience!”

“Hmm. And what would you suggest we do to convince her?”

“THIS!”

Namine cried out as the woman turned and struck her across the face, leaving a red mark and the first true pain Namine had ever felt. The pain causing her eyes to water, Namine frantically looked back up at them. The man called Marluxia had merely smirked at her, and the woman called Larxene still looked furious. Pleading her case and crying didn’t help them to understand she couldn’t do what they wanted. Only incensed the ire of the two further, Larxene striking her with blow after blow, Namine’s confusion now giving way to full blown terror.

She couldn’t do what they wanted, she couldn’t make them stop hurting her and she couldn’t escape from this place. She didnt understand what was happening, only that she was failing at an impossible task she’d never done before. No one would even teach her how do to what she was supposed to do, and hurt her in increasingly sadistic ways every time she failed to give them what they wanted. They kept hurting her and she couldn’t stop it. Namine may not have really understood emotions at that point, but she understood the terror of having to face them day after day after day.

Eventually, she was able to draw what the sun looked like on Destiny Islands. But this almost didn’t matter anymore either. Larxene had gotten too used to taking out her daily frustrations on Namine’s terror.

Namine, after having been granted a true existence in the end, would discover she would forever feel the same growing terror around any sort of small knife, for that was the instrument of torture the woman had favored most.

Cutting her skin, cutting her hair, stabbing her shaking hands when they couldn’t produce the correct memory of a picture, threating to cut pieces off of her like fingers or flesh, sometimes electrifying her on days of particular wrath (Curing her afterwards of the most grievous wounds only, and only because her hands were necessary to their desired goals).

She couldn’t help but picture these things the day all of them had gotten together on destiny islands to have dinner. Riku had been cutting meat for a barbecue and jokingly had offered her a piece of raw meat stuck on a knife point, asking if she knew how to barbecue.

Namine saw blood and flesh on a knife and heard a different question.

“Do you know what the sun looks like on Destiny Islands?”

She had immediately burst into tears, sobbing and crying.

“I don’t know, I’m sorry I don’t know, I’m sorry!” She unconsiously also took steps backwards into a palm tree from a totally caught off guard Riku, who was completely at a loss for words for what just happened. Axel was the second to react after Riku’s attempt at an apology. The rest of the group hearing Namine crying all stumbled up after.

“It’s, it’s okay Namine, it’s alright, I-I can teach you how to-” Axel then cut Riku off, having quickly put the pieces together of what was happening. He was a member of the organization, he remembers Namine’s time there. He remembers what Larxene was like.

“It’s not the barbecue Riku it’s the knife.” Axel grabs the knife out of Riku’s hand and tosses it somewhere into the bushes. Roxas and Xion hold back when Axel says that as Kairi and Sora start holding Namine trying to get her to calm down.

“What do you mean Axel?”

“Axel What’s going on?” Axel looked uncomfortable as he tried to answer, just not starting to feel the guilt of a situation that he could have intervened in, but never did.

“You, uh,” he clears his throat, “You two remember Larxene yeah?” Roxas looked at Xion, neither of them got what Axel was trying to imply right away. Axel rubbed his forehead, almost covering his eyes.

“She liked to play with knives.” Xion tensed and looked at Namine right away, it took Roxas another half second to realize. They both started to reach out to Namine when Sora spoke up to Namine and gently asked her.

“Namine, what happened?” As he reached out to touch her hand, everyone was suddenly struck by overwhelming terror, and started seeing flashbacks, Larxene’s smiling face, the intense bright red splattering on the white floor infront of them. Knives cutting, bleeding, voices in anger screaming, questioning, demanding and then laughing, all behind electric blue eyes filled with malice.

Then all of a sudden nothing filled the air except Namine’s terrified gasps and sobs. Sora hugged Namine towards him fiercely as Kairi leaned against her back gently, both of them soothing her with voices shaking from the leftover terror of the experienced shared memories. Roxas was breathing fiercely, tears in his eyes, but more anger than terror, Xion had froze, trying to process what she had just seen. Axel couldn’t bring himself to look anywhere and Riku felt ashamed for having unknowingly started the whole situation. He was about to apologize but another voice beat him to it

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.” Everyones voiced immediately burst out one after another

“It’s not your fault!” “Namine it’s okay, you’re okay.” “Namine..” “They should be sorry, not you. You did nothing wrong!” “I didn’t know, I’m so sorry Namine.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I knew.” Roxas turned back at Axel, Xion and Riku looked at him as well. Roxas was about to shout at Axel, but stopped when he noticed the tears falling from Axel’s face as well. “I knew what Larxene was like, I worked with her, I saw her all the time. I knew when she got, assigned, to things. I knew how she acted about it. I knew what was probably happening and I didn’t even,” he laughed breathlessly for a second, “What could I have even done about it? What WOULD I have done? I was Nobody.” Guilt crept back into his face as he avoided looking at Roxas. “I knew and I didn’t do anything.”

Roxas didn’t move for a second, then falteringly stepped one foot towards Axel and opened his mouth for a second, then closed it and turned around back to Namine, joining the huddle that had now surrounded her. Sora hogging her and holding her all to himself, Xion and Kairi both rubbing her back, convincing her that she’s safe now, Riku behind Sora, rubbing her head and murmuring his apologizes to her. Roxas wrapped his arms around both Sora and Namine.

“No one’s ever gonna touch you ever again, I swear it. We all swear it.” Everyone either nodded and hummed their agreement. Namine finally found the courage to lift her head slightly to look at everyone, and murmured in a quiet voice.

“Except for right now though, right?” that earned everyone’s chuckle’s as they all giggled in agreement and rubbed her a little more roughly, ruffling her hair and pinching her cheeks and holding her hands. Namine smiled a little at this too, then shifted herself upright and reached a hand towards Axel. Axel looked back at her, his emotions contorting within his heart trying to choose between guilt, relief, shame, sadness.

“Axel, you too?” Namine’s voice made his heart’s decision for him as he walked over flooded with relief his voiced filled with his usual light sarcasm

“’What, me too?’ Of course me too. I’m obviously the only one here skilled enough for this job. In fact I’m so good at this you’ll never have to worry about anything ever again, got it memorized?” He says as he pokes her forehead. Roxas just rolls his eyes.

“Oh you’re the only skilled enough huh? Please, I can out bodyguard you any day.” Riku laughed

“I dont know guys, I think I’ve got the monopoly on dark silent watcher from the shadows, I’m practically the poster boy for ‘Shadowy Protector’.” Xion then called dibs

“Well nobody knows a girl better than a girl so I’d say I’ve got the upper hand here.” Kairi then rebuffed

“Well if that’s the case than I’m the girl for the job, I mean, she technically is me, and nobody knows me better than me!” Sora then finally piped in with

“Aren’t we all technically eachother though? I mean, Roxas was my nobody. Namine was Kairi’s nobody, but she was also born from me too somehow. Axel was, somebody’s nobody but now he’s not. Riku is Riku. Xion is Kairi but if Kairi were me? I think? Then there’s the other guys, Ventus looks like Roxas but he’s actually part of my heart not Roxas’s and there was that one guy Vanitas who looked like me but was part of Ventus, not me and-” Roxas shooshed Sora

“Stop, stop, you’re, youre getting half of this wrong. It’s not, ugh, how do I explain this.” Roxas pinched the bridge of his nose as Riku and Kairi laughed at him.

“Welcome to our life Roxas!” Sora pondered for a moment and then had a lightbulb moment.

“Oh I know! Technically everyone is all because of me somehow right? So doesnt that mean I’m like everyone’s father?” he laughed and smiled “I guess you can all just call me Dad from now on!”

He was immediately met with a groaning chorus of “No” and “We’re not doing that”. Namine couldn’t help stifle her laughter at that one. Kairi held out her hand to Namine and smiled.

“C’mon, let’s get back to the beach. We haven’t even shown you guys everything there is to do here!"


End file.
